but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize