Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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