so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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