yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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