I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
only if we run a train.
done.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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