3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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