Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
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can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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