Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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