Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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