how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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