She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Still dying that you shit outside
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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