Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
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He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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