cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize