dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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