KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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