We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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