I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize