Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize