just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
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Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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