Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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