Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize