You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize