when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize