Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
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I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize