Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I did not marry a roomba.
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