Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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