Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
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The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
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On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
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