Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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