We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
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hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
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I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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