Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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