get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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