Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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