She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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