Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night

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  (410): Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night http://tfl.nu/ayrv
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.

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  (503): iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane. http://tfl.nu/zl9e
  Replies (18) Good night (6364) Bad night (990)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.

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  (512): I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today. http://tfl.nu/pv8p
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.

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  (301): they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with. http://tfl.nu/84m6
  Replies (23) Good night (6291) Bad night (1620) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?

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  (480): How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night? http://tfl.nu/kz3y
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  (850): View more from Florida

  idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'

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  (850): idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots' http://tfl.nu/6gvu
  Replies (6) Good night (3020) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.

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  (815): we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod. http://tfl.nu/j49l
  Replies (7) Good night (2906) Bad night (953) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat

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  (757): He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat http://tfl.nu/9wfo
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over

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  (203): If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over http://tfl.nu/x0ne
  Replies (4) Good night (2171) Bad night (588) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you

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  (512): By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you http://tfl.nu/3p9a
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate

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  (306): So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate http://tfl.nu/7nyf
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?

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  (402): Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out? http://tfl.nu/j98q
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working

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  (706): See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working http://tfl.nu/fcot
  Replies (3) Good night (824) Bad night (198)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me

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  (479): Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me http://tfl.nu/1kph
  Replies (2) Good night (241) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  Yeah, that's a plus.

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  (256): In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet. (1-256): Yeah, that's a plus. http://tfl.nu/i1dz
  Replies (1) Good night (337) Bad night (114) Order T-Shirt

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