I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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