the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize