with your own penis?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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