Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize