So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize