i don't like sucking hair
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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