I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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