Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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