so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize