This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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