pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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