That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
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You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
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You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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