The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
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I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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