I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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