And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
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He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
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I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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