I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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